Teens, young adults and thot processes

Just when I thot my biggest worries were that of Sam, Josh pulls a dumb ass…
If you remember back to a few short weeks ago, my son got his license. YAY for us! Someone to help with driving on and off the farm.He is a very responsible kid, hard working, blah blah blah…
but he IS a 16yr old boy and that should trump it all!
On Sat. night we let him take the car to Neepawa with a ‘friend’ to go to the movies…
sigh… I was leery about letting them go for a few reasons. One, the ‘friend’ has a habit of getting into trouble (alcohol, drugs, fights, etc) and while Josh may hang with him at school, this kid has never been to our house or vice versa. BUT we know his parents and they were happy to have their son going out with our responsible son…and we thot “ok we trust our kid and we can only let him go out and trust he will make smart choices”
WRONG!
Not only did he NOT make good choices but the ones he did make were extremely STUPID! It apparently all started on the Thursday before when Josh went to his cousins house while waiting for his brothers to be done at cadets… and he got the cousin to buy a 15 pack of beer for him and his friends for Sat. night.
Then after he picked up friend #1 he proceeded to pick up a friend#2 (female). I have no issue with the girl except for the rumours I have heard about her… not nice. They all then went to cousins house and in 1.5 hours my son drank 2 beer  and the 3 ‘friends’ left the cousins house with the remaining 5 beer — of 15…
Then they DROVE around town for a few hours. Josh then dropped friend#1 at where he was to be staying the night and took friend #2 home too. Then continued home… 30 miles on roads that were that earlier day closed due snow and ice.
He was home 10minutes earlier than curfew with a mouth full of fresh minty gum, talking a mile a minute and wide eyes.
On Monday when we had a full idea of the whole story of what went on, we confronted him with it. First there were lies, then half truths then most of the story came out. I would like to say that we handled it all calmly and ever so cooly, but that would be a lie.
I flipped…
I had him remind me of the ast thing we told him when he walked out the door

“IF you have ANY alcohol, you CALL us and we will come and get you.”
“No alcohol in the vehicle”
“BE SAFE”

These are the instructions we gave him… and he ignored them all.
His  cousin then proceeds to put the blame and onus on me that I need to look into his friend that he was with as they were not the best role models…(yet SHE bought them the alcohol) SHE thot he could handle driving after 2 beers yet I need to choose his friends… He is under a license probation for 36 months after getting his license– ZERO tolerance for alcohol! ZERO— that means NOTHING for alcohol when you are behind the wheel! And she he HE COULD HANDLE DRIVING! I am not blaming the cousin for josh’s drinking but I was disappointed to know that she would have rather let him drink and drive than call us to tell us that he was drinking and we would have gone to get him. He made some VERY poor choices

Then we have another cousin and friends that are fueling the fire that we as parents do not have the right to take his cell phone from him because he paid for it… we do not have the RIGHT!? And that their parents never took anything from them and they drove wasted before!
Yep… great role models. We have taken his phone and license for 2 months. Which is nothing compared to what would have happened if he had been pulled over by the police. He would have been charged with stuff and lost his license for a MINIMUM of 1 year and then have to start all over again!

So for now I am back to being a chauffeur for cadets and football, Dennis is driving to and from the bus and Josh is not allowed even in a tractor, on a dirt bike or quad. He has the job of explaining to his grandparents why he is not driving and the whole story and if they choose to give him a bit of what for he will have to stay and listen. He is going to be an active member of this family (not hiding in his room) and he will be polite and engaging with us all or there will be another week added for every time he steps out of line. He is going to have to learn that is is HIS fault he is in the mess he is in. The cousins I am sure will get a bit of an ear full at the next family meal at the grandparents but it will roll off them like water on a ducks back.
Seriously not impressed with our son right now. But I did assure him that I loved him and he just has to stop digging the hole he is in and look at how to get out of it because it is just that HIS hole.

I am exhausted from the few days of stress …

And here I had been really working on me and getting rid of the stress that I have accumulated over the last few years. But then as hubby reminded me, we have 3 more teens to get thru too …
 sigh, why couldnt teen years be like the fun baby stages …
when they were small and cute …

and liked you!?

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