me? who…. whhhhaa?

Do you ever get that feeling like you should maybe take the kids to the doctor but you KNOW that as soon as you do they will be perfectly fine and you will be left looking like one of those mothers that has Munchausen by proxy!?  Some days (ok a lot of the time) I feel like this…. especially with Sam.
This morning as I was taking the kids to school he tells me that as they were going to visit my dad last night before air cadets, that when they walked in the PCH his vision went goofy on him. He had no peripheral vison (when the accident happened Samuel lost all peripheral vision in his left eye and we were told that he would have only about 50% of it when he was recovered–  but he not only gained it ALL back but his vision was improved to the point of not wearing his glasses anymore!). So his dad told him to sit down til it past. Not too sure how long this was for (they got home after 10pm and dennis was up late this morning and didnt get the chance to share the story yet). I asked if he hit his head at all or if anything happened at school that could account for this and sam said ‘no’… My first reaction was a racing heart and stomach dropping and my mind raced that i should get him in to see the Dr. today… then I took a deep breath and told him that we need to remember to tell the Dr. of this at our next appt (in about 2 weeks). So I have made a note on Alice (my iPod) to be sure to let the doctor know about it (and i will interogate my husband tonight and get more of the story).
This upcoming Monday is our first visit to the TBI group support meeting in Brandon. To be honest I am nervous. I am scared that it will create an anxiety in Sam, or he will find things that others say there and use them to ‘play us’ (cuz lets be honest and not forget– he is a teenager!☺) or that things that people will say may scare him and give him cause to worry. I have been praying for Sam and has really noticed changes in him. He is resting more, he is more open to talking to me about how things are going in his day and in his head (for the most part). I still havent spoken to the school yet (I have been away for 2 field trips inbetween having some lovely stomach bug… and Josh had the bug…)  So Monday morning I will call and speak to the Vice Principal and talk with her. Mostly just to check in that things are going as sam says they are for him at school.
I have been trying to get more awareness our there too about TBI. There is a serious lack of support and counselling for not only the survivor  but for the family too — well in our area at least. (this group that we are going to with Sam is more for adults but we are taking him anyway since the last time we were there — for my dad– there was a young girl there with a TBI.)
Again I seem to be scattered with my brain and my thots … will I ever be able to string together a logical post again? I sometimes kid Sam that I have a TBI too from being so close with him… ☺


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